And, It's A Wrap

Hard to believe today is the last day of the year. A time to reflect. A day to "un-decorate" the house. To pay bills and budget for the New Year. And of course a day to set goals for oneself. I have honestly made dozens of resolutions in past years. All broken in the first months of the new year. Yet I make them. This year I will once again make resolutions but with a renewed confidence that I will accomplish them...this time.

Looking back.....

Adoption waiting, and waiting and waiting....

Mom and Dad's 50th Wedding Anniversary

Turning 40....ugh

The Empress' dancing debut

10+ pounds...ugh

Camping

Friends at the lake

Oregon vacation...woohoo

Dad's pace maker

T's return to teaching

New Moon

Christmas prime rib dinner with family

Not a big list, but meaningful in my little world. Before ending my last post of 2009, I need to address the adoption subject. Months ago I lamented on our stagnant adoption with Burkina Faso. I stated that in the absence of a referral before Christmas, we would be making a big decision...whether to stay with the program or withdraw. After much discussion we decided to withdraw. Our adoption agency suggested a move into the Ethiopia program....the program we had originally applied for. So, we switched. It was a very difficult decision to make for many reasons. But in the end we are at peace with our decision and excited with our new direction. With any luck we will be bringing home the newest member of our family in 2010.

Happy New Year. May you prosper. May you find peace in your life's direction. Wishing you health and happiness. Happy 2010!

The Merry Recap

To break it down. Christmas Eve turned into a nice surprise as my law firm suddenly gave us the day off. So, with lots to do before the arrival of the big man, we scurried about and got all the holiday hoopla taken care of. The Empress and I made cookies a couple days prior in anticipation, but on Christmas Eve we mixed up the magical "Reindeer Food" for Santa's flying minions. We picked up the Jolly Ole Elf's favorite libation....egg nog. And, we opened our one Christmas Eve present, jammies. After a quick bath we sat our weary bums on the couch and read "The Night Before Christmas." The Empress said farewell to her newest bestest friend, Gus, the Elf, and we tucked her sweet self into her snuggly bed.

Flash forward. We are suddenly awakened by a screaming child as she burst into our bedroom at the crack of dawn. "Santa brought me my Princess Musical Vanity!!!!" We all headed to the living room and the bounty of the day. Fun. And, "Mom, Santa brought me a scooter too. How did he know that was my second choice?" After all the merriment, we basically just vegged in our jammies all day.

On the 26th we headed for Dillon. First it was Christmas at BB and Papa J's. It was sooo nice to visit with J, D and the kids. We all received awesome gifts. On the 27th we had Christmas at Nana and Papa S's. More fabulous gifts! Sister and I made our first prime rib which was declared fantastic by our dad, Ebeneezer Scrooge. It was such a nice holiday.

Looking forward to 2010. Wishing everyone a fantastic New Year!!

The Elf Named Gus

The Empress got the absolute cutest present from my boss and his family. Ever heard of Elf On The Shelf? Who was the genius who invented this amazing marvel of Christmas magic? Seriously, this person should win the Nobel Peace Prize or something equally prestigious.

Here is a brief synopsis. You get a book and a cute little Elf. That little Elf is an agent of the big guy, the man in red, jolly old Saint Nick himself. He has been sent to keep an eye on your child and report back to his boss on a nightly basis as the holidays approach. Each morning on his return from the north pole he sits his little hiney on a new perch in the house. He is magical and your child is told that if they touch the little imp he will lose that magic. On Christmas eve he leaves for the north pole only to return the following Christmas.

It is seriously cute. And, a great tool. It is astounding how good a child can be if they think someone with an in with Santa is watching. The Empress named her elf Gus. Each morning she searches for Gus who is generally sitting high is the room at a vantage point to see all her evil doings. She greets him when she enters the room in which he is sitting. She talks to the little guy periodically through the day. It is seriously cute....oh, I may have said that already.

Anyway, Gus has just two more days with us until he leaves for the north pole until next year. I have to say that I will miss him and the perfect behavior he inspires.

No Room At The Inn

The Empress: A long, long time ago there was a carpenter named Joseph and his wife named Mary and they lived in a small house. And, they lived in the city of Nazareth. And one day an angel appeared and her name was Gabriel. And the angel told her that God has chosed her to be the mother of Jesus. They rode to Bethlehem and it was a very long inventure (hee hee). They went to Bethlehem to pay their taxes.

Me: And what happened in Bethlehem?

The Empress: They got to the inn and they knocked on the door and said, is there any room? And he said, no room. Then they went to the second inn and they knocked on the door and said, is there any room? And he said, no room. And they finally got to the last one and Joseph knocked. Is there any room? No room, but you can sleep in the stable if you want. And Mary said great.

(at this point it appears the holy birth has been completely forgotten....)

The Empress: And then one day some wise men appeared. And the angel said, follow the star and you will see where the baby lay. (long pause...) Frosty the snowman was a jolly happy soul.

4 Years Ago Today.....

On December 9, 2005, I received a call from our adoption agency. The gal's name was Carrie, and though I had never spoken to her before, or since, her name is forever engraved in my memory of that day. She said she had just gotten our referral from China and she was looking at the adorable pictures of our new daughter. I was ecstatic. In the time it took her to email the pictures, I had called T and he was hovering over his computer across town. On the count of three we opened the email to reveal the most precious angel on the face of this planet...our daughter. We fell in love with that face four years ago and it is a love affair that will continue for a lifetime....for eternity.

When I told the Empress this morning that today was a very special day she mistakingly thought that December 9 was the day that we would see the precious face of our new child, that perhaps today was the day that all parents everywhere received the referrals of their children. Sadly, I don't think we will be seeing that precious face today. But, I will happily gaze into the Empress' lovely face today and until the end of time.

Feeling Torn

Feeling torn between sticking it out with Burkina Faso or pulling out of the program and pursuing a domestic adoption. Not sure which way to go. Not sure of my own heart in this. Listening closely for the Lord's direction. But not hearing. Please someone, anyone, point me down the correct path to my family's happiness. We have reached a crossroads and the decision is a tough one. Which way do we go?

Our international adoption is mired down. They promised a "fall" referral....which has not materialized. We seriously doubt that one will EVER come. There is a good possibility that the past 17 months wait has been futile. I feel detached from my agency. The only correspondence I receive from them is in response to my own emails and each response reads the same..."Haven't heard anything."

So the question is this.....Do we stick it out? Do we just have faith that this is the correct path to our child. Or, do we withdraw from the program, possibly leaving our hearts' child behind? Torn. So torn.

Mom, Santa is a nice guy!

Turns out the big red guy isn't too bad after all. We just returned from The Empress' first Santa visit. Correction, her first sit-on-his-lap visit. Last year she stood in front of him and told him what she wanted for Christmas, which was sweet. This year she was determined to overcome her fear and climbed right up on his knee. She was enthralled. I think it was the candy cane that finally won her over. Santa has a new "#1 fan!"

Gingerbread Builders

Nana, The Empress and I made a totally cute, exceptionally awesome Gingerbread House over Thanksgiving. I love it. More than that, I love that we built it together. Isn't it adorable?

Over The River and Through The Woods ...

To Grandmother's house we go. Well, actually to Nana and Papa's house we go. Tomorrow we are going home. Funny how I still call it that...home. It hasn't been my home for over 20 years. But, like the saying goes, "Home is where your heart is." And, my heart is in Dillon. Always has been.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I have alot to be thankful for. I am thankful for every day, every hour, every minute. I am thankful for love. For family and friends. For health and happiness. For laughter. I am truly blessed and I am forever thankful. This year I am just thankful to be spending it with my parents. I love them sooooooo much. The ONLY thing that would make this holiday better would be my sister. She has to work. I have always dreamed for cooking Thanksgiving dinner with my sister. What fun. Perhaps one day.

From my family to yours......Happy Thanksgiving. Surround yourself with those you love. Eat way too much. And, laugh until your belly hurts.

Basking in the glow of the New Moon

As posted previously, my friend and I had tickets to the premier of New Moon. Now, I come from a smallish town in Montana. Though we have a new theatre that features 14 stadium seating auditoriums, I had envisioned that one or perhaps two would be used or needed for the premier. Not so. They showed it in 5 auditoriums and every seat was taken. And, a bank and chiropractor in town rented 3 auditoriums for a private showing.

So, we got there around 8:15 for the 9 o'clock showing of Twilight. It was packed. Literally people everywhere. This is a movie that has been out for a year now. After Twilight was shown we were asked to leave our seats so that they could clean before New Moon. Out into the hallway we go and into a throng, yes, a throng of people all waiting for New Moon. It was insane. Insane.

The movie was in a word, awesome. So much better than the first. It was well acted and heartbreaking. I was literally on the verge of tears from beginning to end. The special effects were much better. The wolves were phenomenal. The Volturi, creepy. They stayed true to the story, which, truth be told, is not my favorite of the series but was perfectly portrayed. I can honestly say that I was not disappointed by one little detail. It was as good as it could have been. Edward was beautiful, Jacob was buff, Bella was damaged and conflicted. It was excellent.

I got to bed around 3 a.m., after spending over 6 hours at the theatre. I slept about 3 hours. However, I am not tired. I am satisfied. I have a silly perma-grin on my face and can't concentrate on work. Bravo! Bravo!

Ughhh.....I'm one of those.

Yes, unfortunately I am one of those pathetic middle age women in love with a pasty white vampire half her age. Even worse I find myself increasingly attracted to werewolves, particularly the one played by a 17 year old boy. Ughhh. It is sick and wrong. I feel like I need to take a bleach bath. O'well it IS all make believe. Why do they have to make them soooo damn hot??

Anyhoo, I have been in love with the series for a couple years now. I am what is known as a "Twihard." So obsessed am I that I have tickets to see the premier of New Moon at midnight next Thursday night. Actually, I will be going to Twilight at 9 as well.

Should I seek help? Perhaps. I guess I cancel myself out as I am BOTH Team Edward and Team Jacob....a happy threesome we would make.

Seeing beyond today

I am not a person who one would say is outwardly religious. That is not to say that I am not inwardly religious. I know who is in control of my life. And, I am glad of that. But, I still struggle. I am willful. I want what I want and quite often that is not His plan. Which leads me to our adoption. What if this is all me. What if this is not His plan. Perhaps it is little more than a timing issue? We may very well be right where God wants us to be in this adoption. I guess it comes down to faith. So, I am going to step back and put this all back in His hands where it belongs. It will happen when it happens. In God's time. And, I am OK with that.

Wasted Wednesday

Hahahahaha. I am sitting here in my living room at 8:22 p.m. on my day off wondering where the hell the day went. Funny when I recall the big plans I had for the day. The mess of my kitchen is calling me. Rather it is screaming at me. The piles of laundry threaten to eat my little pug man when he strolls by. My bed needs changing and remains in the sad shape I left it in when I got out of it this morning. So, I feel the need of an actual recap of the day is in order.

Well, I.... Oh, and I also ...... Alright, so I didn't do much. But, I did get a killer massage. So awesome in fact that it may prove to be my downfall. I got a 90 minute hot stone massage. It was fabulous. It was dreamy, euphoric, trance inducing. A bit like a drug I imagine. I could become addicted. Spend my last dollar for a fix. It was that darn good. After that I picked up some items at Costco. Oh ya, and I did yoga. Past that it was a wash.

Feeling pathetic. Feeling quilty. Feeling quite wasteful. Tomorrow I have to go to work. Darn it.

Aching Heart

We have been on our current adoption journey for 16 months. It has been a twisty, turny nightmare really in which we seem to be close one minute and a million miles away the next. If I had to do it again I would certainly never, ever, ever even consider a pilot program. I might have mentioned that we are literally the first family to adopt (or attempt to adopt) from Burkina Faso since agencies in the United States began carrying the program. It sounded exciting in the beginning. We were told first and foremost that it was a pilot program and therefore no clear process was present, but we were assured that it would be quick in comparison to other international adoptions. We were given a time frame of 4 to 12 months. The program offered infants which was our most important criteria. We jumped without much thought with the hope this was our destiny. We proceeded in faith.

Now, over a year later I wonder daily whether we were meant to adopt from this little heat baked country in West Africa. Was this meant to be or did we push forward despite it not being the right fit for us? Regardless, I am deeply invested in this journey. I have developed an interest in the welfare of the people there.

In August, we were contacted by our agency and informed that Burkina was not offering infants and we were asked to change our criteria in order to proceed. I was heartbroken. After 13 months of waiting for a baby we were suddenly advised that none would be available. After discussion and prayer we decided half heartedly that we would change our request for a child 0 to 3 years old and hope for youngest as possible. We were also advised at that time that our referral was near and we would receive it in the "fall."

Well, "fall" is nearing an end and we are quickly approaching winter and the holiday season. Last year at this time I was certain that we would have our baby home by now. I remain skeptical, at best, that we will receive our referral before Christmas. I find it increasingly difficult to remain positive at all regarding the subject of this adoption. I am not sure it is meant to be...I am not sure it will ever happen.

A month ago there were three of us in the program. We have dropped to two. The family who placed their adoption on hold did so because they are going to have a baby. I am sooo happy for them, but sad for me too because we had become close and I had imagined experiencing Africa with my new friend. This past week I received a call from the third family. I will call her B, in order to protect her identity. She is an amazing person whose compassion for my family is touching. She knew about our journey through emails and understood my disappointment when we were asked to change our criteria. She had just learned of an infant girl back east that needed parents. She thought of me. How awesome is that. Turns out that the baby was placed before we jumped, but the thought of getting a child in the matter of days was incredibly appealing.

For now we wait. That is what we do with hope perhaps we will see a referral before Christmas. If after the first of the year we still do not have a referral then we will probably withdraw from the program and pursue another option. For now, eat, sleep, dream, pray.

Wordless Wednesday

What you all wanted to see...

Here is our lovely Cinderella. Course she is sick. Not sure what she has but there has been puking and a really high fever for a couple days. She seems to be on the mend now and fever is low grade and nearly gone, but no trick or treating this year.

So, the big Cinderella surprise wasn't quite what I had imagined. It went something like this.... I snuck into her room late Thursday night and hung the beautiful dress in plain sight, complete with the sparkly crown and glass slippers. My hope was it would be the first thing she saw when she opened her eyes on Friday morning. But, around 3 a.m. I awoke to hysterical crying coming from her room. She had tried to make it to the potty and ended up having an accident on the way. I cleaned her up, gave her a shower and dressed her in clean jammies. However, the crying continued....that is until I pointed out the beautiful outfit. She was elated. I tucked her snug in bed and went back to my bed. Around 4 I heard her door open and crying in the hallway. Yep, she was sick. I got up, took her temp (103.5) and we were up for the duration. Despite her feeling really lousy, she wore her glass slippers for most of Friday as she laid on the couch.

It has been an extremely long couple of days, but she is on the mend. Last night we carved our pumpkins. Today we roasted the pumpkin seeds and made mummy dogs for dinner. Currently she is dressed as her favorite princess and handing out candy.

Happy Halloween!!

Wordless Wednesday

For The Love of My Family

Never thought I would have to google "Medical Alert Button." Never thought in a million years my family would begin to disintegrate in the way it has. I have posted about my mom and her tragic medical issues. My dad's physical health is, however, much more fragile, much more immediate, much more terrifying. Mom's health, though forever physically limited by stroke, has stabilized. And though my dad has had constant health problems for the past 20 years, it is as if suddenly, with my mom out of the woods, he has taken a turn for the worse.

My sister is a saint. Seriously. For the past year she has spent nearly every waking hour caring for our parents. It has been emotionally draining. For her sanity, it became increasingly more important for her to get a part time job. For 13 weeks she will work as a traveling nurse for St. James Hospital. It amounts to 3 days a week. It will give her the opportunity to use her nursing skills and give her a break from caring for the folks for a couple days a week. She needs this. We all understand this.

However, it is terrifying. For my sister and for me, and I am positive, for each of my parents, it is terrifying. And though we have home health come in for several hours on the days sis is gone, there are many more hours when they will be alone. So, a medical alert button is necessary.

Never thought it would come to this.

Sweet Pickins

Every blog, every website, every year. They are named or referred to by different names, but they remain the same. Pumpkin patches. Those little slices of family heaven in the fall. Our community is no different. Our pumpkin patch is called "Sweet Pickins" and it is a joyful blend of farm animals, straw bale mazes, hay rides and of course, pumpkins. It has become a much anticipated family tradition. We love it. Good clean fun.

My Little Princess

I caved. I bought the Empress her heart's desire...a Cinderella costume, complete with glass slippers. You may remember my post from earlier this year regarding Santa's total disregard of the Empress' request for "glass slippers" for Christmas. Being the child spoiling mom that I am, I thought she would instead love 6 pairs of princess shoes. I thought...the more the better. Well, the Empress was heartbroken. I think she bought my explanation at the time but it made me realize that she wanted what she wanted, and no cheap imitations were allowed.

So, a while back she spotted a Cinderella outfit at Costco. She really wants to BE Cinderella for Halloween. Each time we go to Costco she insists on strolling past the costume rack and lamenting that she would love, love, love that costume. Early on I told her no because the girl has dozens of dress up costumes and I was resigned that she wear one of them for Halloween.

She has been such a sweetie lately, minding me, doing chores...gee, sorta like the real Cinderella (hahaha....except with a hot mom and not an ugly step mother!). So, won't she be surprised to see her new costume, complete with glass slippers, on Halloween? You bet she will.

We Won, We Won, We Won Wednesday!!!

That's right. We won. Justice prevailed. Today our system worked and worked well. Today I love my job. Today has restored my faith in people. They came through. They listened to the case and got it. They saw through all the bullshit being shoveled at them from the a**hole plaintiff. Today a genuinely good and honest person triumphed. Today is a good day!!

Oh ya....I didn't screw anything up!!! Amazing...don't cha think?

Happy Moon Festival

Today is the 15th day of the 8th month of the lunar calendar. Today is the Moon Festival, or Harvest Moon Festival. Today the moon is closer to the earth than it will be all year. It is round and bright and glorious.

We have celebrated the Moon Festival for the past four years. The Moon Festival is a Chinese holliday much like our Thankgiving. We celebrate it for our daughter's benefit. It has become our tradition. In the beginning, in an attempt to remain as true to the Chinese celebration, I ordered Moon Cakes from a bakery in New York. The Moon Cake is the cornerstone of the celebration. However, we didn't like them. They are beautifully made pastry with an interesting design stamped into the top. The icky part is the sweet paste inside. The flavors have names like red bean paste and lotus seed paste. Eww. Sweet but icky. So, we threw in an American twist. The Moon Pie. Yep, you heard right....the Moon Pie.

Happy Moon Festival!!

The Mad Scramble

I am a Paralegal. Love my job. Work for the best guy who is also a good friend and an awesome attorney. So here is the rub. Trial. It is approaching at a breakneck speed. Why should this matter you say. Well, I am not on trial, nor am I an attorney or a Judge, or a juror. What I am is an inexperienced operator of a crazy trial presentation program called Trial Director. Ultimately it will be me in the little chair in front of the jury box struggling to call up exhibits, testimony, jury instructions, and odds and ends my boss wishes to present. Sounds managable right? It would be if I knew the program.

This program is awesome. It really is. If I had the time to properly learn the program I am sure I could dazzle even the most bored juror. A week ago I began my first tutorial and by today I have loaded all my documents, created my workbooks and set up a pretty nifty presentation. So, why doesn't it work?? It should work. It looks like it works. Then I set it up with the projector and everything goes to hell.

Monday is trial. I will do something worth writing about I am sure. Whether good or bad. I will keep you posted.

Perfect Day

Did I ever mention that we live mere minutes from one of the most glorious places on the planet? Glacier Park.

I remember the first time I went to Glacier. We were newly weds traveling around the state in T's parents' motorhome. It was breath taking. It still is. I remember remarking to T at the time that this is where God lives. Since moving here we spend time each summer in the Park. Not as much time as we would like, but nonetheless we try to get up there at least once during the summer.

Several summers ago much of Glacier burned. Of course nearly each year forest fires claim part of the wilderness, but that summer in particular was much worse. The fires burned much of the area visitors see when traveling through Glacier. It will come back. It always does. This is, like I said, where God lives. Even in destruction, it is beautiful

So today we decided it was a perfect day for a picnic in Glacier. It was. It truly was perfect.

Big D and the Lil' Empress

Friday night we had the pleasure of watching our adorable, hulking, nephew play football. We call him Big D. Why you ask...well, look at him. He is a mere 15 years old. He is 6'2" and weighs 256 lbs. Yow, that is a big boy.

Forever Johnny Castle

Spitting....Yuck

The Empress did something yesterday that I wouldn't have thought she would ever do....she spit on her best friend. Not once, but twice. Not sure of the details of the unfortunate event and the Empress is not really willing to give up many details. I do, however, know that she was punished with timeout and was unable to participate in "sharing," which broke her little heart. She apologized to her best bud, and things seem to be OK. Totally amazed she chose to spit. When and where has she even witnessed this sort of behavior?

As a parent I could choose to try to justify her behavior by saying that she must have been provoked or was not feeling well, but to do that would be ridiculous. Simply ridiculous. Her behavior was inexcusable and under no circumstance would it ever be justifiable. Of course we had a long discussion about the spitting incident last night and through tears I could tell she was truly remorseful, but I can't help but wonder what caused her to react so strangely.

Wordless Wednesday

Pain Free Success

Darn! Can you believe it? I didn't take one picture at the Pain Free Brain party. It was fabulous. Fabulous. Could not have picked a more perfect day. The sun was out, the sky was a beautiful blue and there was a slight breeze off the lake. But, and this is a big but, it would have been fabulous in the rain, in the hail, in a blizzard or a hurricane. The people made the party. Those wonderful, marvelous people we call friends. First and foremost I have to give kudos to our most excellent friends S and B. They offered up their condo on the lake for the party. They refused to take any credit or even invite any of their friends. What can I say...they are the best. My sis was able to make it to the party as well. This was very important for the success of the party because we have never had a pain free party without her. Even though she was feeling punk with an awful cold, she made it. The Empress had a super time playing with lots of friends, swimming in the kiddie pool, and covering her little legs with tattoos (much to my chagrin...). In the end we fell exhausted into our beds a full 8 hours after the party began.

Good times and no pain in the brain. :)

(Mule picture is a shout out to our favorite Pain Free drink...the Mule.)

Never Ever Forget

Eight years later I still feel like I am holding my breath. The mere thought of that day, and those that followed, still brings me to my knees. I believe it always will. May God hold the lost in his loving arms, continue to comfort the survivors, the families of the lost, and the millions of Americans this tragedy scarred for life. We will never forget.

Boxer and the Goat

Nope, the pic from yesterday is not our Bug. Mowgli (Bug) died just before I came across this picture on the internet. I, of course, burst into tears as the resemblance to Bug is uncanny. The Boxer in the photo is Billy. Billy lives in the UK and apparently took a real liking to an orphaned baby goat on their farm. He has a heart like my Bug. I printed the picture and it has been hanging on my wall at work ever since. One day, shortly after I hung the picture, the Empress was at my desk and noticed the photo. She took one look at the picture and said, "Mom, is that what Heaven looks like?" thinking the photo was a picture of her favorite buddy in Heaven.

Ya baby, that is what Heaven looks like. I hope. :)

Wordless Wednesday

A Couple of My Favorites

When we got home from China we were mortified to find out that our little Empress was absolutely terrified of our dogs. Her entire body would begin to quake and she would scream at the top of her lungs until they were out of her sight. This was heartbreaking. Heartbreaking. Ya see, we had two beautiful Boxers at the time, Matisse and Mowgli. They had been our children prior to the Empress. Spoiled doesn't come close to describing them. They went everywhere with us, did everything with us, slept with us. So, the introduction and month following was extremely stressful and sad. Our beloved dogs were relegated to the heated kennel in the garage with brief visits to the house. But, gradually, the Empress came around.

Mowgli, in particular, took to the Empress. He just loved her. He allowed her to crawl on him, hug and tug on him, and patiently listened when she babbled at him. He followed her around and slept on her bedroom floor. They fell in love with one another.

These photos are a couple of my favorites because they show the love Mowgli had for the Empress. She always used to back up and sit between his front feet and read him books. He would rest his head on her shoulder. It was sweet.

Mowgli got sick and died about a year and a half after the Empress arrived home. We miss him still. The Empress still talks about him and continues to believe he is looking down at her from heaven and that he is an angel with wings. She still says she misses him. I know I do. They were the best of friends and I believe their relationship would have grown even stronger.

Miss you Bug.

Dillon Labor Day

Labor Day weekend in Dillon is historic. Ask anyone from there about it and you will undoubtedly be regailed with stories of drinking, rodeos, and parades. Many folks will probably share the same horrific story of the jet plane hitting the grain elevator. The year was 1979. I was 10 and on a float in the parade when an air force jet doing a flyby hit the grain elevator in the center of town. It was awful. Chaos. Fire, death, many injuries. But, I digress, that is not the topic of my blog.

Labor Day in Dillon has always been fun. Probably the most fun was the Labor Day of my teens and 20s. At that time Dillon's Rodeo crowned Miss Rodeo Montana. It was a big deal. The rodeos had the best stock and the best cowboys. It was fabulous. The amount of drinking that happened (still happens) is monumental. I think it is a pretty well known fact that cowboys can party.

After T and I married we entered the parade along with T's family and friends with our "Dillon Disposal Precision Dumpster Drill Team." We did it for a good long time, probably the better part of 15 years. It was a riot. As you may not be aware, T's family owns the garbage business in Dillon, so it was only natural that we would eventually organize a drill team that performed complex marching routines with rolling garbage cans. Fun stuff. We won many times and parade goers always cheered loudly when we rolled by.

So, it is with some sadness that we forego the celebrations in Dillon this weekend. But, alas, it is not the same party we fondly remember from our youth. Yes, there is an ungodly amount of drinking, there is still fabulous rodeo action and cowboy boots on every person within 10 square miles, but the faces have changed. We have changed. So with a heavy heart we leave the celebration to the next generation.

Yee Haw!!!!!

Wordless Wednesday

Pain Free Brain Party

Several years ago, umm, almost 5 actually, T began experiencing horrible, horrible pain in his face. At the time he had had some dental work done and they assumed it was an infection as a result of a root canal. But, as the pain got steadily worse instead of better, the doctor assumed he had tri-geminal neuralgia and began treating him with some anti-convulsants. Soon it became nearly unbearable and an MRI was performed. Yep....brain tumor. I remember sitting in the little room talking with the doctor while he reviewed the MRI. Suddenly it was there on the screen. I silently prayed that it was nothing and perhaps that was just a normal part of the brain, but alas, it was not. T had a benign myelin sheath tumor on his tri-geminal nerve. We quickly made plans to see a specialist at the Mayo Clinic and flew out a couple days later. After much discussion with a couple of different specialists, we chose a risky new treatment called Radio Gamma Knife Surgery. Though only given a 50/50 chance of relief, the treatment worked and the pain was gone.

After the ordeal we decided we should celebrate and organized the first of our (almost) annual party "Pain Free Brain Party." It is a super time to remember how blessed we are that T is pain free. This year our awesome friends offered to have the party at their condo on the lake.

Pray for sun!!

Twenty Years of Wedded Bliss - Happy Anniversary Babe!

How to explain our relationship. Well, in a word essential. By that I mean simply, I need him to survive. To lose him would be like cutting my heart out and squashing all the air out of my lungs. He is so much a part of me that without him I am only half. Very poetic, right? But it is this relationship that makes it possible for me to simply understand love like that of Romeo and Juliet. His love is the air I breathe. Truly. Undying, enduring, and everlasting.

We started dating when I was 14 years old, but that wasn't the beginning of our relationship. You see, T and I grew up on the same block, 4 houses away from each other. We played as small children. He was always in my life. My mom likes to tell the story of how as a young girl I was eating breakfast when T showed up with his Dad to pick up the garbage. She says that our eyes met through the window and she knew in that moment we would be together. I remember that day, that moment. I was about 7 or 8 years old. We dated through high school and married 6 years later. We have been through many things together, several life threatening, and together we made it through....our love pulled us through.

Ours is a love story. We like being together. We compliment each other. We enjoy the same things, have the same tastes, laugh together. We are best friends. He is the love of my life. I feel safe when he is near. There are two quotes from movies that come to mind when I think of our relationship. First, from "Moulin Rouge"..."Come what may. I will love you until my dying day." And second, from "The Princess Bride"..."He will always come for me."

So today I wish to thank T for loving me. For marrying me. For being my best friend and the love of my life. Happy 20th Anniversary Babe!

ILY.....

We have a super secret code. ILY. We say it to each other all the time. I love you. The best little sentence in all the world.

He Thinks I'm Fun :)

Last night after an evening at the Fair with the Empress, we washed the dust off and climbed into bed. Both of us soooo tired from schleping around the animal barns, food stands and children's (under 42" tall) carnival rides we needed sleep. Then, as I quickly read my mandatory Harry Potter chapter before turning off the light, T rolled over and said "You're fun." It was like getting the "You're beautiful" compliment, but better. It made my heart leap. Wow, he thinks I'm fun.

Fun has always been the number one life goal for T. When asked what he wanted to do with his life his response has always been, "Have fun!" So, to have received this compliment from the love of my life after 26 years together, means everything!

I think perhaps it is the best compliment I have ever gotten. I am fun! I don't know what took me so long, but I have finally arrived.

Wordless Wednesday

"So he gave up being King of all wild things."

We are home. After 14 hours in the truck we arrived home at 10:00 last night. Ugghhh. Nothing pleasant about the trip home...nothing. It was back breaking...exhausting....nearly overwhelming. But, we are home.

On our last full day on vacation we lazed on the beach. It was relaxing. It was sunny and lovely, with a very slight ocean breeze. The Empress enjoyed building sand castles, chasing sea gulls, and floating her little boats in the stream. I read, T napped. In the end I sunburned my forehead and shins. Weird tan lines. We drove down to Newport for dinner. A fishing boat had run ashore on the beach and people were gathered watching the spectacle. After finally growing tired of watching no progress what so ever, we left for dinner. Apparently, at high tide a helicoptor pulled the boat off the shore and a tug pulled it out to sea. When we got back to the trailer we all showered, packed and prepared the trailer to move first thing in the morning.

Hmmmm, what to say about our vacation on the Oregon coast. In a word, fabulous. It was really our first real family vacation. It was such a joy watching the Empress experience new things, i.e. the ocean, the aquarium, the zoo...etc. Even when it was the three of us cramped in the trailer in the rain it was special. As a destination I would highly recommend the coast. As a mom I would definately give it high marks as well. Though I have been all over the world, the Oregon coast captured my heart like no other.

Here Comes the Sun

Finally, after two days of fog and misting rain the sun has appeared. Today the plan is simple. Fun. We want to spend the whole day on the beach. Stretched out in our chairs watching our little minnow play in the sand. Heavenly...don't cha think? Of course there will be the inevitably crazy rush to get that perfect family picture.

Yesterday we loaded up and headed south to Florence. We had bowls of chowder on the bay at Mo's, picked up some items for dinner at the grocery store, and located the perfect trailer whale. Yes, you heard right, we found our trailer whale. On our way home we hit the infamous Sea Lion Cave. OMG. It is incredible. We rode an elevator 205 feet down the side of a cliff into this enormous cave. I was awed by the size of this cave. Huge. Really, really huge. Really cool stuff. Never thought I would utter these words...but I love sea lions. They are bossy, loud and funny. They are playful and lazy. I love the way they torpedo through the water with such grace and beauty. Hard to do when you weigh a ton and inhabit a body that resembles that of a colossal slug.

After the caves we headed back to the trailer and napped and watched movies while the rain continued to pelt our trailer.

Fun in the sun today. Nothing but fun in the sun!

The Elusive Trailer Whale

Yesterday we drove back to Portland to the Zoo. It turned out to be monumental trip in scale. Silly me, thought we were close to Portland. Nope. After a long, long drive (minus the trailer, thank heavens) we arrived in the early afternoon at the most fabulous of fabulous zoos. The Portland Zoo is really all that and a bag of chips. Very well laid out. Nice exhibits. We were able to watch a raptor show in their little outdoor arena that was awesome. We had a very large and beautiful bald eagle fly just inches over our heads. Arrived back at the trailer in time for bed.

Today was a day of leisure. We awoke sorta soggy, as the fog has creeped into the area and seems to have settled in our trailer. Weird muggy, cold sweat feeling. We played on the beach this morning then drove up to Depoe Bay. This quaint little ocean side village has the distinction of being the whale watching capital of the world, or something similar in scale and fashion. We stopped for lunch at "Tidal Raves" rumored to be the very best place to eat on the coast. Right away we saw several whales from the restaurant. Great food, spectacular views. Depoe Bay made the news this past weekend when a large great white shark was caught and killed in the bay. Too close for comfort for me.

The Empress and I had a little shopping list. First, we needed a magnet to add to our growing family. I wanted it to be a whale and indicate that it was from Depoe Bay. Second, we wanted a trailer whale. What you ask is that....well, not sure on description, but we thought we would buy either a cute little stuffed whale for the trailer, or, as T suggested, a large whale sticker to put on the trailer. Well, we found the magnet, not so lucky with the trailer whale, though we found a new and hilarious decription for big booty'd gals. Funny how the whale capital of the world, with dozens of cheezy souvenir shops didn't have one silly little trailer whale. O'well, we stopped at a winery on the way back out to the trailer and left with a really yummy bottle of award winning Pinot Noir.

Not a bad day.

Just The Three of Us....

Right now that is all that really matters in the world. Us. We are in Oregon. Camping in our trailer at Seal Rock. We are on the beach....literally.

Getting here was awful. Driving. Then more driving. And finally, more driving. By the time we got here I wasn't too sure it would be worth it. It is. This morning we woke up to the sound of seals barking and waves crashing. The tide pools are amazing and we took advantage of the early hour and were alone on the beach. There were dozens of anemones and star fish as well as basking seals. Simply amazing. It was such a joy showing the Empress a tiny glimpse of sea life.

After the tide pools we drove the ten miles to Newport and visited the Oregon Coast Aquarium. It is a great aquarium. The Sea Otters were my favs. We bought the Empress a stuffed dolphin after talking her out of a gruesome shark. She named it Princess. Lovely. We had the best clam chowder at Mo's on the bayfront and slowly strolled the streets perusing the many cheap touristy shops.

We picked up some steaks and prawns on our way back out to the trailer. Eveything tastes amazing in the crisp sea air...and of course the view from our picnic table was phenomenal. Actually saw a whale this evening during dinner.

I am silently working out what it would take to become a full time vacationer. What a life. I am feeling rested and ready for our next adventure. It has been so nice spending time as part of our little threesome.

Just Kicking Down the Cobble Stones

Lookin for fun and feelin groovy!

The Empress' new babysitter taught her the words to this classic song. Only...the Empress is certain that it is "feelin groofy!" No amount of clarification will change her little mind. She is adamant. "It is groofy, not GROOVY!"

And so it is. The song has forever changed for me. Has new meaning. And today, I am feelin groofy.

Like a Wet Cat

It has been weeks. Nearly a month. Truthfully, I have been in a rut, with nothing much to say. Nothing interesting. Nada. I find I am depressed. I need a vacation. Work is work, is work, is work. T is always gone. Adoption....hmmm, probably won't go there.

Last week a pipe broke in the wall in the playroom in the basement. Of course T was gone so when I received the call from the babysitter that water was everywhere, I was concerned I couldn't handle it. Turns out I could, and did. But I guess the point is, should I of had to, handle it? I am tired of being a single mom. Of a husband who is gone more than he is home. I want to be a family again. I want the summer to end.

On Friday the 7th we are jumping in the rig and heading for Oregon for a week for vacation. I need this. It will be good for my family. Perhaps then I can get back to work instead of slacking, which has become my modus operandi.

Don't worry....I will get a grip.

Wordy Whiney Wednesday

I have been sick now for 10 days. The first 4 I thought I would die. I visited the doctor where they promptly gave me a mask to wear and separated me from the other sickies. Thankfully I don't have the swine flu. It is however viral and therefore not treatable with antibiotics. On day 5 I began to feel remotely human again. And today, though I continue to cough until I throw up, I am feeling still better. Not great, but better.

My beautiful Empress and her hot daddy drove to Dillon yesterday leaving me by myself for the better part of 3 days. I had planned to just bask in my aloneness (since that sort of thing NEVER happens) but I find myself lost and lonely. Last night I bumped around the house, cleaned the bathroom and finally fell into bed and read Harry Potter until falling into a fitful sleep. That sleep was brief and soon I was awake again, and for the duration of the night. Uggh, so today, whiney Wednesday, I feel yucky. And I miss my baby and her daddy.

Bonus whine.....too much work, no motivation, irritated with close friend, crappy overcast rainy weather...and constant headache. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Happy Birthday Babe!

Today is T's birthday. Hope you have a super day....and an unforgettable year. We love you!! J and the Empress :)