A little nap anyone?

Do you remember the episode of Seinfeld where George built the little napping retreat under his desk at work. I am contemplating that at this very moment. I am tired. Could be that I got up at the crack of crack and went to the club and worked out, or it could be that I ate too much for lunch, or perhaps the fact that it is like a sauna in here. Whatever the reason, I am dreaming of a nice little nap. I loved George's little area, complete with a little shelf for magazines and an alarm clock. At this moment I could actually get by without all that luxury and just curl up on the dirty floor beneath my desk.

So, back to the getting up at the crack of crack to workout. I have been faithfully doing this for a solid week. I know that it is very little time in the scheme of things, bit it is a start. Someone once told me that working out will help you sleep better, among other benefits. Well, as you may know, I am a chronic insomniac. I would like to report that working out has helped on that front, but alas I am here to tell you that, no, it has not. In fact it has created a situation that is opposite of sleep. Since starting to work out last week, I have not slept. At all.

Thus the reason for the nap!! Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Way Past Jesus

Me: I love you to the moon and back.

Empress: I love you way past Jesus!

Me: (surprised!) Baby, what does that mean?

Empress: Well Mom, Jesus lives in outer space and that is way past the moon!

Me: (wow!)

This child is only 3 (soon to be 4). Is she not brilliant? Brilliant and heartbreakingly beautiful. And....hilarious, too.

Last night, nearly 2 hours after the Empress went to bed, I was walking down the hallway when I suddenly heard a cry. It was the cry of a terrified little girl. I ran into her bedroom and there she was, upside down and dangling head first off the bed. She was face up and holding on to her blankets with a death grip. The look on her face was of sheer terror. I scooped her up and collapsed on the floor in a laughing fit. Apparently she had fallen asleep and wiggled her way off the bed. She caught herself in mid fall. It was as if my baby had turned into a daring acrobat. It was sooooo funny. After the Empress recovered she began to laugh as well and we called T in to share in our joy.

She is precious. She has brought love and laughter to our lives. I don't think I ever smiled or laughed before she came along.

I love her way past Jesus.

Happy Chinese New Year 2009 - Year of the Ox

The Empress was born in the year of the Rooster. When we arrived in China in 2006, the country was in the midst of the 15 day New Year celebration. As we flew into Beijing we were able to see fireworks going off all over the city. Each day there were more. It was as if all of China was celebrating our adoption with us. It was a priceless experience. Since that time we have observed Chinese New Year each year. It is one of the ways we celebrate the Empress' culture.

Each year during the Chinese New Year we give red envelopes with chocolate chinese coins to all the kids at the Empress' school. The Empress gets to wear a chinese silk dress and share her books about the holiday with her friends. In the past her school has made different chinese dishes to eat and the children made banners for the door. I celebrate at work by bringing a big bowl of tangerines and oranges for my co-workers. Tangerines and oranges symbolize luck and wealth. We always eat chinese food during the holiday. Tonight I will make Sweet and Sour Chicken, Beef and Broccoli and homemade "jiaozi" dumplings. Dumplings are always eaten during the New Year celebration. The word Jiaozi literally means "sleep together and have sons" which is an important theme in the Chinese culture.

As I previously said, the Empress was born in the year of the Rooster. I was too. Many years apart, but still Roosters. The Chinese Zodiac runs on a 12 year cycle. As Roosters we are hard workers, deep thinkers, capable and talented. We always think we are right, and we usually are. T is a horse. As a horse he is popular, hard working, independent, cheerful and talks to much. This makes me chuckle as anyone who knows T, knows he is all the above and certainly talks too much.

Hopefully, our new baby will be born in the year of the Ox. Ox people are loyal, trustworthy, reliable and logical. They are also dependable, patient, methodical and calm.

We wish you all double happiness in the year of the OX.

Juvenile Obsession

I am obsessed with the Twilight series. I know it is juvenile. In my defense I began reading the series before I knew a movie was coming out. My interest grew mainly from reading "The Historian" and then wanting to somehow continue reading in some fashion about vampires. I went on Amazon, did a quick search and came up with the series. When I read the story line I was sure I wouldn't like it. I mean, how could a story about a girl who falls in love with a vampire be any good?? The reviews were all stellar and I just caved and bought it thinking it would be a brainless guilty pleasure. I knew it was a young adult series. I remember thinking to myself after a few pages that I couldn't continue. That is until I met Edward Cullen. I was hopelessly lost to the series. I wanted to spend all my waking moments reading the books. Loved them. Stupid I know. Now I know I should join, or perhaps organize, a Twilighters anonymous group.

"Hi, my name is J. I am a middle aged woman in love with a 17 year old vampire."

Lost

For the past four years I have religiously watched Lost. I love this show. Love it. If you have watched it you know that it is an exercise in schizophrenia. Nothing makes sense. Then everything makes sense. Then nothing. You put pieces of the puzzle together. You develop a theory. Then that theory is shot to hell. It is intelligent and stupid all at once. It is marvelous. As I write this I am watching the season premiere. This show makes me think. I mean really think. Ya know when you can't remember someone's name but it is close, like on the tip of your tongue. That is how this show feels. I love it.

Look out Picabo Street....

Just a little background. T is a skier. Seriously. He has been on skiis since the tender age of 5.....37 years of his life. T would live on the mountain if he could. He was a ski instructor for years. He coached racing. He raced. There were years when he skied 100 days during the season. He was a rep for Blizzard and Dynafit. To put it in the easiest possible way....he is an awesome skier. I have never personally been in the presence of such excellence on skiis. That being said, I am a skier. I don't live to ski, but I can turn them. So it is only natural to think that our child would be a skier.

The Empress is funny. She is very reserved when it comes to anything adventurous. She refuses to ride her bike because it goes to fast and she might fall off. So, when T began talking about putting her on skiis last season I did my best to talk him out of it. I knew that if we did it too soon we would face the real possibility that she would hate it.

A couple of days ago I started talking to the Empress about going skiing. She was totally up for it. She has talked of nothing else since. So today we went. It was the most perfect of ski days. The air was crisp, the snow was soft and the sun was shining in a beautiful blue sky.

The Empress is going to be a skier.

Nana Zana is my Hero

My mom. She is an inspiration. She is a loving wife, mother and grandmother. If you could have harnessed her energy a year ago, you could have powered the space shuttle. She was healthy, fit and always on the go. The first week of June 2008 changed all of that. She almost left us...forever.

Mom has had atrial fib for years. It is a condition that was caused by a childhood illness. For this she took the blood thinner coumaden. Some time in May, or perhaps even before that, the amount of coumaden in her blood got out of whack. Way out of whack. She began to bleed internally. Then it happened.....she collapsed. She was life flighted to St. Patrick Hospital in Missoula. We rushed to her side. She underwent emergency surgery to repair the damage.

During her time in Missoula at St. Pat's she had two surgeries, three strokes, one of which was huge, and she developed pneumonia. She was in and out of the ICU almost weekly. She spent five weeks there. During that time Dad was by her side each and every day. My sister took leave from her job and moved into a hotel not far from the hospital and T, the Empress and I spent every moment we could by her side.

After five weeks we had her moved to a rehab facility in Kalispell. Dad moved in with us. Over the next three months Mom worked and worked at her recovery. On October 30, she was released and they went home.

Jump ahead to today. Mom continues to work hard at her recovery. She goes twice weekly to physical and occupational therapy. The big stroke left her in a wheelchair and without the use of her left side. Now she can walk with a cane, but depends a great deal on a wheelchair. She will probably never recover the use of her left arm. My sister quit her job as a nurse and moved home to take care of Mom and Dad.

My mom has always been a super strong woman. In reality Mom should have died...several times. The fact is that she is somewhat a miracle. In some of her darkest moments she told us she wanted to die. She said that often. However, she didn't, she kept fighting. Dad told her there must be a reason she was alive, and to hurry up and start living. That is just what she did. Now, I would have to say there was a reason she lived, and that I believe is the Empress. My mom and the Empress have a very special relationship. I know that Grandmas and Grandaughters usually do, but I think their relationship is different. My mom adores the Empress....is obsessed with the Empress. The feeling is mutual.

Currently, my Mom is working toward attending the Empress' dance recital in the spring.

My mom is an inspiration. She is my hero.

10 things I can't live without

10. Iced tea - sounds stupid I know, but if I have any vices it is iced tea. I don't drink, smoke, do drugs or gamble.....iced tea is it for me.

9. Security - having a job, a house, family. Faith goes hand in hand with Security...in fact I find security in my faith. All things come from God. He is running the whole deal. And thank goodness for that!! I have been very blessed in my life and for that I give praise to God.

8. My sleep number bed - Yes, it sounds like a commercial, but it has cured, or at least helped my lower back tons. It is soooo comfy. I love that I can use my own number and T can use his. Also, I do sleep alot better than I used to. Still have insomnia, but I don't think a mattress can cure that. At least I am awake in total comfort.

7. Travel - I love to experience cultures other than my own. I love the history, people, art and architecture of a foreign land. I love the restaurants, sight-seeing and nice hotels. I would love to move to a foreign place......Italy? Perhaps.

6. Solitude - As a parent I rarely get a moment of solitude, but I still dream of it. Occasionally I will have a day off, with the Empress at daycare and T at work, or those moments late at night after everyone in my house is sound asleep. I love being alone. I don't love being lonely.

5. Books!! - I love to read. It is a passion really and I dream one day of writing my own book, as boring as that might sound. I love that books let you escape so completely from a hectic life and since I have always had a rather vivid imagination I live the book I am currently reading.

4. Matisse - my beautiful 10 year old boxer. She is my sanity. I have always said that when I lose her I will lose what is left of my sanity. Tisse has such a big heart and loves to be with me. Her personality has always reminded me of my sister. She is sweet, smart and loving, but with a wicked side.

3. Sister - My one and only, love is thicker than blood sister. She is younger than me and adopted as well. We are polar opposites, but the best of friends. I can tell her anything. I am so unbelieveably proud of her. My sister is brillant and has a love of life. She would sell her soul for her family, friends and animals. She is an inspiration in my life.

2. My parents - I am adopted. I credit my parents for everything good in my life. God placed me with parents that love me unconditionally. They are wonderful people who have taught me about life and about love. I could never explain the gratitude, respect and never-ending love I have for them. I would move the world for them.

1. T and The Empress - They are the loves of my life and thus both command the top spot on my list. T and I have been together forever. I can't breathe when T is away from me. He is like the oxygen in my lungs. Without him I am just a half of a person. The Empress is my miracle and I love her so much my heart is bursting. She is the most perfect of God's creations. What did I do to deserve such an amazing blessing in my life?

Boy, I looked back after finishing my list and was surprised to see that on the whole, I am not materialistic. That is nice to see. T often calls me "high maintenance" but in reality I am just the opposite. I hate to wear makeup or do my hair (though I do for work), I don't usually buy myself new clothing or "pretty things." I am happy and "low maintenance."

Never-Never Land

The Empress' birthday is next month and I asked her this past weekend what kind of party she would like. Of course I thought for sure that she would say princess party, so I was pleasantly surprised when she said "Tinkerbell, mom!" At least that way I can use Peter Pan for the boys...right?? She has a pink fairy outfit already but I promised a Tinkerbell dress. Boy did I ever luck out....Costco had a cute little green and pink chiffon dress that is perfect. And, she can use her pink fairy wings with the dress. Next dilema....who to invite. Last year we had family friends and it was perfect. But, really the only kids the Empress knows well are the kids from daycare. Those are the ones she wants to invite. If I invite the kids from daycare and the family friends then we are talking 20 kids. I can't do that. I don't have the patience, nor the urge to torture myself in such a way. Right now I am leaning towards daycare kids. I hope that not inviting the family friends won't offend them.....I really do. This is a party for a 4 year old.

So what can I do with the Tinkerbell theme?? The Empress has requested a Tinkerbell cake. Hmmm, perhaps I can buy a cake and put a little Tinkerbell figure on top?? Lots of balloons, fairy dust, sparkles, magic wands? Should be easy enough, right?

February is too full of stuff. First we have Gotcha Day, then Valentines Day, then the Empress' Birthday, then Auntie's Birthday. I am tired just thinking about it. We have already promised to go to Dillon to celebrate a combo Empress/Auntie Birthdays. T will be gone two full weeks in February, so it will be a little tight and will take some planning to get to Dillon. But, I think it is important not only for the Empress, but for mom and dad, who have not been well.

Dreaming of Pan and Tink and Never-Neverland.

The Wedding Dress

The past two years the Empress has chattered endlessly about Santa Claus, but was terrified of anyone in a red suit. So, this year we were quite surprised when she announced she would like to go see Santa Claus. When we approached the big guy I asked her if she would like to sit on his lap and she resoundingly stated "No!" But, she did walk up to him and stood right in front of him and introduced herself. T and I were grinning from ear to ear like a couple of fools. It was beyond adorable. He asked her what she wanted and she told him, "glass slippers and a wedding dress." The Empress was somewhat upset when Santa didn't bring her the wedding dress her heart desired. He brought her a big trunk full of dresses and eight pairs of clack-clacks including the most coveted "glass slippers", but not the dress of her dreams. Her dearest cousin dug through her old dress up clothes and located an old white wedding dress and gave it to the Empress which delighted her and became her favorite gift.

So, jump ahead to today, while on an outing to Target the Empress spied the dress of her dreams. I couldn't say no, though I bought it against my better judgment. We took some absolutely adorable photos........isn't she beautiful? Love, love, love the smug look!

Welcome to my world....

New to the blogging world....well sort of. Of course I browse dozens of blogs and faithfully read several, but I have been terrified to take the plunge and start one of my own. You see, I am completely, or well, nearly completely computer illiterate. This is a stretch for me. But, I have stuff to say, to get off my chest so to speak.

About me, us, my little world. T and I have been together our whole lives. Grew up together, high school sweethearts, married for 19 years. We are soul mates and best friends. Really the stuff of fairytales. We adopted the Empress in 2006 from China. She is our miracle. We are happy. Blessed. Most definately blessed. This past summer we began the process to adopt again. Burkina Faso. Where is that you say?? Exactly. We had no idea in the beginning, but were drawn toward the tiny west African country. We have completed our homestudy, with some weird little detours, and sent our I-800A in to the USCIS yesterday. Now we wait. We are hopeful that we will receive the referral of our new baby in three to four months.

So, I will use this blog as an outlet....probably not letting anyone know of it until I have it figured out...perhaps never?? So ends my first post.