We have been on our current adoption journey for 16 months. It has been a twisty, turny nightmare really in which we seem to be close one minute and a million miles away the next. If I had to do it again I would certainly never, ever, ever even consider a pilot program. I might have mentioned that we are literally the first family to adopt (or attempt to adopt) from Burkina Faso since agencies in the United States began carrying the program. It sounded exciting in the beginning. We were told first and foremost that it was a pilot program and therefore no clear process was present, but we were assured that it would be quick in comparison to other international adoptions. We were given a time frame of 4 to 12 months. The program offered infants which was our most important criteria. We jumped without much thought with the hope this was our destiny. We proceeded in faith.
Now, over a year later I wonder daily whether we were meant to adopt from this little heat baked country in West Africa. Was this meant to be or did we push forward despite it not being the right fit for us? Regardless, I am deeply invested in this journey. I have developed an interest in the welfare of the people there.
In August, we were contacted by our agency and informed that Burkina was not offering infants and we were asked to change our criteria in order to proceed. I was heartbroken. After 13 months of waiting for a baby we were suddenly advised that none would be available. After discussion and prayer we decided half heartedly that we would change our request for a child 0 to 3 years old and hope for youngest as possible. We were also advised at that time that our referral was near and we would receive it in the "fall."
Well, "fall" is nearing an end and we are quickly approaching winter and the holiday season. Last year at this time I was certain that we would have our baby home by now. I remain skeptical, at best, that we will receive our referral before Christmas. I find it increasingly difficult to remain positive at all regarding the subject of this adoption. I am not sure it is meant to be...I am not sure it will ever happen.
A month ago there were three of us in the program. We have dropped to two. The family who placed their adoption on hold did so because they are going to have a baby. I am sooo happy for them, but sad for me too because we had become close and I had imagined experiencing Africa with my new friend. This past week I received a call from the third family. I will call her B, in order to protect her identity. She is an amazing person whose compassion for my family is touching. She knew about our journey through emails and understood my disappointment when we were asked to change our criteria. She had just learned of an infant girl back east that needed parents. She thought of me. How awesome is that. Turns out that the baby was placed before we jumped, but the thought of getting a child in the matter of days was incredibly appealing.
For now we wait. That is what we do with hope perhaps we will see a referral before Christmas. If after the first of the year we still do not have a referral then we will probably withdraw from the program and pursue another option. For now, eat, sleep, dream, pray.
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